Siren Festival, Coney Island

I can't intellectualize music forever, all the time. So instead, thanks to advice from a friend, I'll dish out some advice of my own. For the most part, I took my own advice.

DOs: (I followed 3.5/5)
*PLAN what bands you're going to catch before you get to Coney Island. Don't be stupid and try to see too many, but be a little ambitious. Run the plan by the people you're going with. 9 hours may sound like forever, but it absolutely isn't.
*LEAVE during the last song of one band's set to get a good spot for another band at the other stage. I know, it's your "favorite song". Bull. You can listen to it while you push sweaty people out of the way and run from falling cups of beer.
*MOVE as close as you can to the stage. People will scowl. Scowl back. Flip them the bird. They'll tell you there's nowhere to go, but there's always room for one (or a few) more. Follow chains of people that seem to be succeeding at weaseling through the crowd.
*PAY attention to the DJ. If you're a music nerd, you could be pleasantly surprised. For example, I learned that Ted Leo from Ted Leo and the Pharmacists is a terrific DJ.
*BITCH and moan about condos.

DONTs: (I didn't follow 6/7)
*WEAR a Joy Division shirt. Really, stop!
*DRINK some random guy's bourbon. You might not die from alcoholism, but you sure could die from lots of other things...
*CROWD surf. You will fall. You will be laughed at.
*TAKE all of the free vaginal contraceptive film. It's not going anywhere, and you'll find another bimbo if your current bimbo bounces.
*JUST see the bands you've heard of. Experimenting will not make the event any less f. r. e. e.
*WEAR lots of clothing. If you decide to be skanky, be skanky on Siren day. Regardless, it will be hot and you will smell. You might as well be naked and more comfortable so you don't simmer in hot, sweaty clothing.  
*SMOKE in people's faces. That's just obnoxious!  Curb the habit until you're not in a crowd or at least have the decency to be aware of your puffs.